Do mobile phones contribute to cancer? I’m darned if I know, although last week I read numerous reports of yet another scientific study into the matter. This one, undertaken for the UK’s Health Protection Agency, found that there were no conclusive risks to brain function, or of cancer or infertility. However, it also pointed out that very little was known about the long-term effects, since the technology is relatively new, and therefore it was best if children in particular avoided “excessive” mobile phone use. All of which, it seems to me, is the equivalent of saying: if you’re an optimist, take this as good news; if you’re a pessimist, carry on worrying; and if you’re a child, continue to plague your mother for a mobile phone so that she can then nag you not to over-use it when you finally get one.

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